Greg Gutfeld: These New IRS Agents Will Hunt The Little Guy – Fox News | Vette Leader

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I still haven’t got all the sand out of my butterfly net. So the Dems passed a law last night and just like what happens to Joe after his morning porridge, it’s far from solid and it stinks and it should be flushed immediately.

Firstly, never trust anything that has more than one way to describe it, you know it’s called the Inflation Reduction Act, which is funny since nobody knows how it actually reduces inflation. That’s like calling a hot fudge sundae the Brian Stelter Reduction Act. Even Doc Brown admits it’s a ruse, but before he got back in his DeLorean.

GREG GUTFELD: HELPS YOU GAIN AN ARGUMENT FOR CALLING PEOPLE EVIL?

Bernie Sanders: I would like to say a few words about the so-called anti-inflation law. And I say so-called, by the way, because according to the CBO and other business organizations that have studied this bill, it will actually have a minimal impact on inflation.

Yes, this is hard for Bernie, he will have to wait on the shower chair he had his eye on. You just come in and place it right over the bathtub.

But that’s why this bill has so many names. Likewise, professional scammers have many aliases. It is designed to confuse you and hide the scam. Some call it the inflation law or the health law. Then, of course, there is the climate law. Why don’t we call it the sex act since we’re all being screwed? It’s the Kama Sutra for greedy bureaucrats.

But even worse is this new IRS army of 87,000 agents to find tax dodgers. The thing is, to find them you have to cast a much wider net. People who work hard and make a lot of money will be like dolphins who accidentally get caught in fishing nets meant for sardines and salmon.

The Washington Post calls it modernizing the tax collector, which is a soft way of saying, arming the government to hunt down more taxpayers to squash their spending spree. It’s a feedback loop. Spend more money, create more agents to get it. Rinse and repeat until the end of time.

So the choice is yours if you’re audited, hire an accountant or attorney to defend your case, or just avoid the hassle and pay. And they hope so every time. For grannies it’s been stop and frisk for years. But at least it’s included. You should thank them for their exam and at least for using lube this time. Yes, lube.

The media call it necessary. Something they would never say about the real police, right? You would prefer to reimburse and arm the cops who are after you rather than violent criminals. Which makes sense since they already believe half of us are domestic terrorists. And even white-collar criminals don’t shoot back when they’re arrested.

Proponents claim it will cover higher earners. But when they run out of these, as they always do, they keep lowering the bar to include everyone else. You know, the IRS are like guys who walk into a bar on a Saturday night to collect a ten. But when the last call comes, they stare at a three and think she has the most teeth and a good eye – that’s close enough. It’s called the Jim Norton Rule.

The fact is, you don’t need 87,000 agents to go after the rich few. There are only 538 people in Congress. And don’t think these agency improvements are here to help. 4% of the 80 billion goes to taxpayers, while 57% goes to enforcement. It’s as flat as a Gulfstream with Chris Christie. It’s a small plane.

So what happens? Well, if you crack down on the rich, returns go down because they hire accountants and lawyers to fight it. It will be a long war of agents and lawyers as resources on both sides dwindle. So why? Well, it’s supposed to seem fair, right?

Remember that in politics, perception and deception are everything. It’s important to suck in the rich, even if they’re not rich or already drenched in inflation. And it’s up to you to be afraid. Roll it, Clarence.

FOX NEWS HOST: Can you understand how 87,000 new IRS agents would scare millions of Americans to death?

Sen. Ben Cardin: There is no reason to be afraid. And if you’ve paid your taxes and obeyed our laws, you should make sure everyone else does too.

Yes. Remember, show me the man and I’ll show you the crime. Now show me the W-4 and I’ll show you the penalty. But it’s not like our government ever targets the people it hates, right? And yes, if you’re ever charged with a crime and you’re innocent, why should you worry, right? It’s not like people are ever wrongly convicted.

How does this help you? Well, first there’s crime, inflation, your kids are in crappy schools, gas prices eat up your beer budget. Luckily the government makes sure you have nothing, so you have nothing to hide.

Here is IRS agent Adam Markowitz justifying this new army. He says, quote, all my GOP friends worried that these new IRS agents are after the little guy, how about you just not cheat on tax returns? A completely truthful and accurate tax return is bulletproof. I never understood the fear of an IRS audit.

Well I like that only his imaginary GOP friends fear this new IRS army. And he never understood the fear. Well, it’s always tantamount to charging you with a crime and it’s up to you to acquit yourself of the charges. That’s what people fear, you idiot. Bottom line, a person can actually go to jail if they’re just not as organized — like Kat.

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But then, in a later tweet, this agent admits that going through an exam is a headache. All right, when you’re done with the IRS scrutiny, it ain’t your head that’s hurting, mate. You’re on the wrong end of the horse and he’s a jerk comparing the IRS to the feeling I get from ice cream.

Then he adds: And I understand that going through an exam is costly and nobody ever wins. Well, wait a second donkey. You just said no one should fear an exam, and then you state exactly why they should be afraid – it disrupts your life and nobody ever wins.

I’ve got a question for you. What are the property taxes on the fantasy island you live on? But if you have an IQ higher than an artichoke, you must see that this country is now headed for a police state where the police state now wants your money. And if you don’t see this now, do me a favor and change the channel. I think Fallon is playing beer pong with Harry Connick, Jr.

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